Yogi Bhajan, Kundalni Yoga teachings, Meditation

I’ve been working with resistance in my own life…force vs. allowing, acceptance vs. action, neutrality vs. re-acting.

What to do in these times?

What is the answer?

I’m on day 34 of a 40 day sadhana (daily spiritual practice). Some days, yes, I have to force myself to do it. Why? I’ve been doing sadhana’s for so many years, I don’t know how to NOT do a sadhana. Ha! High spiritual teachings teach that the physical practice is not the path (the way), but the energy behind it. Eckhart Tolle says you can do a million “meditations” but truly taking one conscious breath at a time and practicing being present will get you much “farther” in life. So if I’m ‘forcing’ myself to do it…is it “working”?

Right now I need my practice to create neutrality in my being, to help me feel better about this life. To NOT re-act to everything in my life/the world. When I become overwhelmed with e-motion or depression I’m no good to anyone.

The gift (or the curse haha, depending on the way you look at it) of being a Mother is; I’m constantly looking at myself through my daughter’s eyes. How does she see me? How am I doing in everyday life? What kind of example am I setting for her everyday, all day? How am I re-acting to day-to-day stressors?

Children do what we do, not what we say.

The way I live my life day in and day out is truly my Sadhana. AND is what I am teaching her.

(She’s my Why-why I do what I do, why I want to be the best I can be, why I write this blog, why I teach Yoga & Meditation)

Being on a deep spiritual path for so long has really allowed me to look at these things.

What is my default setting? What do I keep going back to over and over…my childhood was depressing! Alcoholism, Divorce, Abuse, Loneliness, being a latch-key kid. That’s my default setting! UGH

So I had to create a NEW default setting out of PURE WILL…….my own…..or the G.O.D. (Generating, Organizing, Destroying force) through me…whatever..

The past 28 years of being on a deep spiritual healing path has taught me that.

Right now I need my practice. I need my will. I need my force. I ALWAYS feel better after my work-out, after my Sadhana, after my yoga/meditation practice.

So look at how you feel after you do your Sadhana (spiritual practice; whatever takes you closer to your soul)…..when are you the brightest & best YOU? How do you get there? What’s your path to THAT? My practice helps me so much!  That plus practicing awareness throughout my day and taking one conscious breath at a time!

That’s all I can do right now. I’m relying on myself with the help of these teachings. I know there is nothing outside of me that can “fix” me.

I’m supposed to know that I’m not even broken.

Sat Nam,



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